The first thing ever shoved into my mouth was a nipple.
It was one of my better days...

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© Spat

On the highway a little bee was having troubles with his car. Whilst attempting to fix it, a question came to his mind...
"Tow-bee or not tow-bee"

Was there ever a better time?
- in the stone-age... man invented stone
- in the dark ages... man invented light

Once you’re 18, you’re not a minor anymore.
Meaning you’ve gone from a minority to a majority.
Scary isn’t it?

I really should stop making fun of lepers.
Last one...

Never say "gimme 5" to a leper...
1. you don't know what you're going to get (and perhaps to keep)
2. you don't know if he still has 5...

Life is like lepracy... you never know what you gonna lose next.
(inspired by -Forest Gump-)

All time favourite Beatles-lyrics for lepers:
“I wanna hold your hand…”

All time favourite Roxy Music-lyrics for lepers:
“Let's stick together…”

How many men, do you think, would be able to tell their wife: "I'd like to screw you bitch!"
Most of us have to refrain to euphemisms like: "I'd like to make love to you darling...".
"...making love...", as if to say we are going to do something constructive.

Superman: the most famous window cleaner in pyjamas.

Ashes to ashes
Iron to rust

The stand-in stuntman for Tom Cruise was generally referred to as Tom Bruise.